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Monday, 7 January 2013

STAR ROAD -Translation-

Ever since my violin came here to me, I've been in a proper violin haze (even if I hadn't had time to really play here yet.. orz) and naturally that has led to me looping STAR ROAD very much in the past few days. Thus, energized by it's beautiful melody and words, I felt like translating it. So here you go! Big thanks to Izam and Danie for helping me with a couple of tricky bits. Really looking forward to hearing this in LIVE GRACE 2013 -OPUS II- (do sing this Nana-sama and Risouron too tanobu yo~~ m(_ _)m) and crying like a baby~



STAR ROAD (translation)
作詞・作曲:水樹奈々
編曲:藤間 仁(Elements Garden)



夕虹を照らす太陽が眠る頃
ハラリこぼれる涙は 誰を求めてるの?



When the sleeping sun illuminates the evening rainbow
Who are the gently falling tears yearning for?



月の揺りかごに想いを詰め込み
あなたに会いに行きたい 願いが叶うなら



Fill the cradle of the moon with the feeling
If the wish of going to meet you will come true


星夜の雨に打たれて 溶けていく氷の檻
今すぐ伝えたいんだ
この愛よ消えないで
共に輝く日まで



Hit by the rain of a starry night, the cage of ice melts
I want to tell you right now
Dear love please don't disappear
Until the day we shine together


ふと口ずさんだ懐かしいメロディ
空がどんなに巡っても 変わらずここにある



Unintentionally humming a nostalgic melody
No matter how the sky revolves, it remains here unchanged


気付かないフリで いつも笑ってた
失うことが恐くて 現状-このまま-を望んでた



I always smiled pretending not to notice
Afraid of loss, I wished for things to stay like this



星夜の海に抱かれて 溢れ出す素直な声
強がりだけを覚えて
言えなかった「おかえり」
旅立ちを待ってる



Embraced by the sea of the starry night, the honest voice overflows
I only remembered pretending to be strong
I couldn't say "Welcome home"
I am waiting for the departure


あなたを知るたび 夢見てしまうの
不確かな未来-あす-への道も 永遠に変えると…



Whenever I knew more of you, I found myself dreaming
That even the road to the uncertain future would be changed into eternity...


星夜の雨に打たれて 募る言葉はただ1つ
今すぐ伝えたいんだ
この愛よ消えないで
共に輝く日まで



Hit by the rain of a starry night, only one word arises
I want to tell you right now
Dear love please don't disappear
Until the day we shine together




And again, if you have any translation requests I can see what I can do. Next up should be Crescent Child. (^-^)

9 comments:

  1. GJ for the translations.
    As promised, here's my take.. could be wrong though ^^;

    --
    ハラリこぼれる涙は 誰を求めてるの?
    the gently falling tears is looking for who?
    --
    この愛よ消えないで
    dear Love, (please) don't disappear
    --
    現状-このまま-を望んでた
    I wished things will stay like this
    --
    星夜の海に抱かれて 溢れ出す素直な声
    Embraced by the sea of starry nights, the sincere voice starts overflowing
    強がりだけを覚えて
    I only remembered pretending to be strong (more common use than brave front tho you're correct)
    --
    あなたを知るたび 夢見てしまうの
    When I knew you, I found myself dreaming (たび here is 度 not 旅)
    不確かな未来-あす-への道も 永遠に変えると…
    The road to uncertain future also changes to eternity

    --
    It's still hard for me to translate, with Japanese and English's grammar being in reverse order ^^;
    very easy to confuse which is the subject or object ;__;

    For future references,
    in Japanese lyrics (Nana does this a lot) this is called "ateji" (当て字):
    like "現状ーこのままー" (current condition -as is-) or "未来-あす-" (future -tomorrow-)
    which means using kanji only for its meaning,
    then sing with different reading to add more meaning or just because it sounds better.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you and thanks a bunch for the help! ^^

      I think you are right with those, now that I read the Japanese again it I can clearly see it.

      I get easily confused by the subject/object matter too as can be seen.. orz sometimes the who is doing what is a bit hard to decipher too. Doing translations is a good way for me to learn more Japanese (especially Kanji)though. ^^ If you happen upon more misinterpretations when I translate stuff, please let me know so I can learn more!

      Ah yes, I've noticed how Nana does that, and I really love it! One reason why I really like Japanese, it allows you to play around like this. Though for this for some reason I took the meaning from the reading instead of the right way round... must've been tired. Fail. orz

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    2. If I may, I brushed up the translation further a little bit :)

      - careful with that first sentence, everything is linked together :o
      - 求める -> yearn
      - the feeling of the song made me get the vibe that "I want to see you" was the very feeling to put in the cradle
      - 打つ is kind of a dramatic verb, so "to strike" is better to render the feeling, imho :)
      - この愛 refers to the feeling, but to render the implication, it felt better using "May my love not disappear"
      - "accidentally" really feels "off"; I mean, the meaning is right but the word feels wrong and breaks the mood :3 Also, there is a connection to the next sentence that was not rendered : the surprise comes from the fact that the sky (and years) have revolved many times, yet it's (the melody) still there, and hasn't changed
      - I decided to balance the 現状・このまま by putting emphasis on wish -> yearn and using the latin words for "state of non change" :3
      - 溢れ出す素直な声, when put in perspective with 強がり, would get me to translate 素直 as true, and 溢れ出す as something "finally" happening, like scales tipping over. I'm not quite sure I got the full implication of the departure, but that verse seems full of regret towards untold things and separation :/ (I actually wanted to translate it as what we call in French "grand voyage" (final/long trip as in "eternal separation"), but I couldn't find quite the right words ><)
      - あなたを知るたび -> the presence of たび(度) here implies what happens "every time a given event happens"
      - 変える in this case implies someone is doing the action ; not that the path turns into eternity in itself (that would be 変わる) :3

      Here's my version if it helps anyone :

      When the sun that illuminates the evening rainbow goes to sleep,
      These gently falling tears, who are they yearning for?

      The cradle of the moon, pour all your feelings in it,
      "I want to see you", if this wish comes true

      Struck by the rain of a starry night, the cage of ice melts
      I want to convey my feelings to you right now
      "May my love not disappear,
      Until the day we shine together"

      That nostalgic melody I hummed out of the blue,
      No matter how many times the sky revolved, it would always be here, unchanged

      I always smiled, pretending not to notice
      I was scared of loss, and yearned for a "status quo"

      Embraced by the sea of the starry night, my true voice finally spills over
      I had only learned how to pretend being strong,
      I couldn't say "Welcome back home",
      and now I am waiting for the departure

      Everytime I would know more about you, I would find myself dreaming
      that I could change the path towards uncertain tomorrows into eternity...

      Struck by the rain of a starry night, only one word arises
      I want to convey my feelings to you right now
      "May my love not disappear,
      Until the day we shine together"

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    3. Hey!
      Thanks for the pointers. ^^
      I see what you mean with those and I was able to tweak my translation a bit thanks to them.

      - Though question. Wouldn't 憧れる or 焦がれる be more like yearn than 求める? Just taking this opportunity to learn more about Japanese.
      - I think for the 素直, true/sincere/honest all are very good options since they all depict what that line wants to convey imho. And "overflow" is something that happens "finally". I used it because it sounds more poetic than "spill". :)
      - And good point about the separation. There really is no similar way of expression in English as the French one, but I added a "the" in front of the departure to emphasize it.
      - I totally forgot about transitive/intransitive verbs.. orz thanks for reminding me!

      And thank you for your translation! Since it's so explanatory and descriptive it helped me with tweaking my own. I though like to keep the wording of my translations more eloquent and flowing so it still sounds like lyrics. Hence the use of some alternative words instead of strictly literal translation.

      Thanks again for the help! ^^

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  2. 求める is about desiring, wishing, seeking, which is directly linkable to craving, yearning if you decide to wax lyrical :)
    However, 憧れる is about feeling admiration. You could spin it as "yearning" in some contexts, of course
    焦がれる is linked to love in the sense it makes you rushed, feeling burnt by your feelings and desires -> yearning :) (In my mind, it's kind of like the tale of Icarus, getting too close to your love will burn you, yet you still yearn for it :))

    I thought true for 素直 would be the perfect foil for 強がり ;)

    Also, for the separation thing, I just had this idea, tell me if I'm wrong : how does "I prepare to engage on a journey" sound? (I also wonder if the "Great Journey" can work...)

    Anyhow, glad I could help :) I'm not that good with lyrics writing, being more of a technical dude at the core, so I focus on giving first the right idea before brushing it up :D

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    Replies
    1. Ooh I see. Makes sense. :)thanks for explaining!

      Hmm I see what you mean.. but hmm.. I don't know. Maybe I'll go with 'honest' as a compromise. True would go better linked with feelings than voice I feel.

      That could work. Though, "journey" feels like a more positive thing, hopeful while "departure" is more sad. If it is a regretful thing, do you think journey is too upbeat?

      Well since I on the other hand like playing around with the English language, we make a good combination in that sense. :p

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    2. Then again, Japanese has such an expression as to "voice out you feelings", so it's entirely possible that she used "voice" to actually imply "feelings" :o Especially if they're overflowing, i.e crossing the threshold from mere thoughts to reality :o

      About "journey", I'm not sure myself... The idea just popped in my head, but I hadn't double checked it.

      Oh by the way, another thing that came to my mind, watch out for 覚える, as it can carry many meanings (feel/experience, learn, and when conjugated, remember)

      覚えてる -> lit.: it is currently in my memory/awareness -> "I have learned" -> hence why you usually translate it as "I remember"
      覚える -> This could be most accurately translated by "to pick up (knowledge/sensations)". You can say for instance 違和感を覚える to say "to feel something is off", and 言葉を覚える to say "to learn how to speak".

      This is why I translated it as "to learn" instead of "to remember" :)

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    3. Nice, I'm receiving a proper Japanese lesson now! You should be my Sensei. ;D So frustratingly much to learn still.. any tips on how I can fast-forward the process?

      So is 覚える more for like when you learn from experiences or from living life in general? And would you say 習う is more for stuff like what you learn in school or by studying in general?

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    4. Heh :p Wish I had more free time to do that xD

      Well, I guess improving in Japanese boils down to three things :
      - lower your resistance to grammar/constructions you don't quite understand, accept them "as is" at first until you reach the level of skill/motivation to actually dig into WHY it is built like that. First phase will help you "gather stuff you can use, even if it's just the basics", second phase will help you "further understand something you already use".
      - take in as much as you can, even beyond what you feel is your limit; the way I see it, well, this basically means living in the country where you are exposed 100% of the time to Japanese in reading, writing, hearing and speaking, even when your mind wants to give out and say "stop" :) However watch it, check hint n°3, you need to somewhat keep a sharp mind about what you can readily use in actual conversation.
      - keep a sharp mind about social/emotional/etc... contexts associated with particular expressions/words/constructs. Simplest example that you have certainly pieced together by now, but : just because someone addressed you in a given way, doesn't mean automatically you can reply using that same expression :D (basically, some words, combinations of suffixes and intonations will project your own social understanding of a given situation, which WILL ripple around if you didn't read the mood (空気を読む)) That last one takes a lot of time to master, and a nearly paranoid mindset xD

      So yes, 覚える is exactly like that. To drive the point home, you have the expression 体で覚える, which you could nearly liken to the "muscle memory" expression we use for video games :p However, the whole concept is more driven towards "perception", as it is the kanji used in awakening (目覚め), and for the five senses (視覚、聴覚、触覚、味覚、触覚). It's somewhat a bit more passive.

      習う however is active, for instance "acquiring a habit" (hence why it is used in 習慣, "habit"), "following an example" (見習う)

      Of course things aren't perfectly clear cut, and people DO say "日本語を覚えた" and "日本語を習った". However the given impression will be a bit different between both, the first one will imply you did most of it on your own, the second imply you had a clear-cut school-type of framework to teach you.

      The only thing I can really say is, try to pick up these little nuances (which you are pretty much forced to do, if you really take in a lot of Japanese 100% of the time and do it seriously without letting your mind block it), and be sure to take mental notes for stuff you heard but feel you didn't quite understand, so that the next time you hear the same expression, you will be able to "callback" the last time you heard it, and compare situations to deepen your understanding :) Also, that whole process will only improve as you keep on practicing it so keep heart, even if it takes time :D

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