Here is some more of my awesome logic for you Chris. >:D
Nana's guide on how to break up with someone
Step 1. Look carefully that you have taken everything that belongs to you with you.
Step 2. Demand a refund on everything you ever got for him/her.
Step 3. Quickly stash away whatever she/he is willing to give for your demands.
Step 4. If you were married, get him/her to sign the the divorce papers at this point (you might have to come up with some fib about the contents of the papers to get them to sign. like "sign this and you will get the house and the beer stash.").
Step 5. After he/she has signed, quickly pass the papers to the lawyer before he/she gets suspicious/changes their mind.
Step 6. This is the fun step - you are now free to slap him/her around as much as you please for everything they did but shouldn't have or didn't do but should have!
Step 7. Then clean your hands of this mess...
Step 8. ... wave him/her goodbye...
Step 9. ...and point him/her to the door!
Congratulations, YOU are now free!
To remember these steps for when you need them, just learn this dance! :D